So Imma bout a week and a half into this gig and I’m starting to imagine life lived like this. I realize that I have become so accustomed to eating crap that it stretches my imagination to visualize this change. Sometimes I hear that small voice that says, “Why do you think this is time going to be different? You’ve never been able to make any lasting changes before, why are you even trying again?” That’s a nasty little voice and I know full well I’m not Sybil, but I also know that sometimes, I am my own worst enemy. When I hear that horrible, negative self-talk rising up, I close my eyes and visualize all the success stories I’ve seen before. I tell myself that I am no different and if they can do it…I can do it. There is no scientific reason that I can’t do it, its simple math, energy in vs. energy out. It’s that mental stuff that is the toughest.
They say that when you are trying to break a habit that you should replace it with something. I am not sure what that would be other than exercise. I like the exercise, but I, in no way, want exercise to be as important to me as food was/is. It’s like a unhealhty dependency. I want exercise to be a healthy adjunct to life. Something I do, to enhance my state of being, I don’t want it to become another obsession. If I miss a day here and there, so be it. I just know me, and my own limitations. I learned that from Shaun T, “KNOW YOUR LIMITATIONS!” Well I do, and intensity vs hardcore complacency is my norm. Desperately seeking middle ground, the balance if you will.
I’ve heard it said that people who have issues with obesity and morbid obesity are very passionate people, their passion is just misplaced. If that is true, replacing the passion is paramount, but to a healthy degree. Hrmmm, maybe the practice of philately is in my future. I can see it now, overcome with a passion for stamps of various shapes, sizes, and eras. Maybe I’ll be the next famous collector, join The American Philatelic Society, and work at the National Postal Museum.
Ok. Today I take it one meal at a time, and ask myself questions about moderation, and why it’s so good for me. And I’ll keep writing. Because that’s something I could really sink my teeth into.