Everything is connected. As I sit alone at this sushi bar, having a glass of wine barely past noon, I understand that. This moment, as all moments, are connected. I love the sound of the crowd, the woman who just laughed way too loud, her friends still relishing it, the constant chatter around me, and me, alone. There is a mother and son at the bar adjacent to me and I wonder if he’s graduated or why he’s here in the afternoon, I’m even a little concerned that they’re sizing me up, alone, a woman drinking just as the morning breaks. I love it.
I am anxious. A friend and I decided to split the cost of a personal trainer, he is a fireman, he looked serious, so we picked him. Out of all the beefcake dudes we picked him, on the advice of the manager who said he’d recommend him to his mother or sister out of them all. Hmph. The first thing I did was argue with him about nutrition, pre workout mind you. He worked me over in a matter of 20 minutes, he put my friend and I against each other in wall sits, planks, and squats. For example, “If she falls you both do three more sets!” She looks at me and says with determination in her eyes, “I won’t fall.” I knew right then she wouldn’t. My turn, wall sits, he found my weakness, told me if I didn’t hold them we would have to more, I screamed at him, and quit because I couldn’t take it.
I am anxious.
I have 45 minutes until my acting class and my wine is still full and my sushi hasn’t arrived yet. I’ve been looking forward to this all day, my moments alone and my writing. I have to thank a friend for this. Writing is something I love so much but often neglect when life gets hectic. Out of the blue she texted me yesterday paying me one of the best compliments received in a really long time. She said she’d read my entire blog, and it made her cry. I’m not sure why, I guess I have some emotional posts from time to time, but she went on to compliment my writing. I really needed that. I know that I am not a journalist, WordPress’s recommended edits assure me of that, but writing fills me up, and her encouragement fueled my fire.
My anxiety is waning, not sure of its the writing or the wine.
This morning in spin class, enjoyed in the company of three friends, I heard the teacher say something. This teacher, by the way, has lost over 120 lbs and kept it off for several years. He said always think about the greater good, this was during a particularly grueling segment of spin. He used the example of being healthier, looking better by the pool, etc. I felt like I could apply that in every situation, in every moment. As a Christian, each moment is one that we are faced with decisions. Many tests are failed and some are passed with flying colors, but every day presents new choices new challenges, new moments. Today I will think about the greater good, not just my good but the good of those around me, and I will decided accordingly.
Real world example: there is a man sitting next to me, he’s foreign, no one knows me here, I’m far from home. He has a pack of Marlboro lights next to him and I’m pretty sure he’d love to share. I am drinking wine which makes it especially hard to refuse tobacco, but it’s not good for me. It’s good for me to abstain. It’s not a good example for my kids, greater good.
Have a wonderful day…and may I recommend the Pino Grigio and the summer roll at the sushi house in Leawood, perfectly apropos for a snow covered day in early March.