Dear Me,

I started to formulate this letter in spin class this morning, I think I deserve to actually compose it and publish it, it’s a word of encouragement for myself, and anyone who needs it. Dearest friend, I applaud you for … Continue reading

So can you…

This is way overdue. I’ll explain, you see this series called Mad Men, is taking up my extra time. Tonight, I have a glass of red and I’m in. Must. Update. Blog.

Pushed through plateau, continuing to lose, working out hard, eating small. The single biggest thing that has helped me continue to lose is this, go to bed hungry-ish. Going to bed hungry-ish does mean lots of things though, such as, I ate a small healthy dinner, I didn’t go buck wild all day long, cut my carbs after lunch, and emotional eating…not allowed. 

As for that, emotional eating, it lingers there just below the surface, I feel it beckoning me to give in every now and then. It’s tempting, I’ll admit it, until I remember the real cesspool it always brings me to. Guilt, shame, hopelessness, unrelieved anxiety and…a bigger ass. Yeah, there’s that.

Here is the real whopper, I officially signed up for…wait for it, wait for it…a TRIATHLON. Sprint, of course. It’s a 500 meter swim, 10 mile bike, and 5K run. I’ve trained like crazy, self studying for a training guide and freaking the eph out. I’m not really doing any weight training, but I will get back to that later. The race is in about 2 weeks so I am focusing on my swim and my run, I think the bike will be my favorite part. I don’t have any lofty ideas here people, I want to finish, like with a time not a DNF. I want to make it to the finish line, period. My body hurts every night, but to say I’ve done a triathlon, to know how hard I worked, that will be my prize.

So my weight, well when I started this blog I was 250. My last official weight before that was 258, that was last summer/spring. I weighed in at 209 this morning. This is a big deal for me. Why, you ask? Because the last time I weighed in at 209 was back in 1994. Yep, 18 eph-ing years ago, wow, it’s amazing how long I let my self go, and go, and go. I am so glad that one day I decided I was worth the effort. I am so glad that I decided I deserved to find fitness and comfort in my skin. I am so glad that I decided to stop self-abusing. 

And now the stakes are a little higher, I have lost almost 50 pounds. I have about 50 to go. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it’s getting brighter every day. And there’s this realization that the light is only a mirage, because getting to my goal weight isn’t really a destination. Staying at my goal is a state of mind that I am working on every day, so that when I arrive I will have already been to dress rehearsal and ready to do. It’s a daily walk of self-control and humility. It’s a place where loving yourself means passing up the cookies now and then and giving yourself exercise as a gift. It’s a contemplative, honest, place where ones faults are reconciled daily and life can move on. It’s a place where I teeter now.

Inhale, exhale. I deserve this. I can do this. I can do this. 

And so can you.

Check out my triathlon site and feel free to support me if you like.

Matt Mason Cowboy up Triathlon

And here’s a few highlights from my very first 5k! The Kansas City Glow Run!

Really? My Humps?

Well Blah. Yes, that’s my current state of mind…and I can’t put my finger on why. A friend of mine made a comment a few weeks ago that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I was kind of bummed when we were talking, said I felt like I was in a funk over a few things, and she said, “Why are you feeling that way, you just lost thirty pounds, you should be on top of the world!” My friend also has a lot of weight to lose.

It’s becoming painfully obvious that ones weight does not necessarily equal ones happiness. I mean, I was always depressed-ish at two hundred fifty-eight pounds. There wasn’t a lot in life that was fun because I was constantly self-conscious. But, when I was with true friends and family I still enjoyed myself, especially when carbohydrates were involved. But just because I have lost some weight doesn’t necessarily mean life is an instant  bowl of cherries. Happiness is peace in your heart, that peace leads to less self-abuse and decreased self-doubt. I am still a food addict, but the pull is less and less every day.

I read another girls blog about weight loss, actually I read a few. She is obsessive over the food she eats, what she weighs, and nothing is ever quite good enough. I would never write this on her blog, but I expect she’ll gain her weight back, because she’s not happy with who she is at her core, and she expects the weight loss to cure everything. I wish I knew her well enough to tell her so. She reminds me of myself at a young age. It wasn’t until I gave up dieting and started look up and in, that I found the strength to do this. It’s about so much more than the food and the day-to-day calorie requirements.

I ran the couch to 5K tonight. I am on week six and it’s getting pretty tough. It was also very hot out tonight which added to my lack of excitement. I have to really be on it now, I am officially signing up for a triathlon sprint called the Matt Mason in Smithville Missouri. I think I am good on the bike, but I need to really focus on the run and the swim. I will be taking a swim class specifically for people looking to improve for a triathlon. Scary thought. I am out of my mind. It seems very apropos that I have the song, Over my Head by The Fray on my playlist now. My playlist is another curious subject. If you saw it you would probably laugh at the eclectic myriad of musical treats. Especially the Black Eyed Peas song, My Humps, that’s one the whole family can enjoy! I know what you’re thinking, she’s such an intellectual. The song is mindless, but it has a great beat, and the funniest thing about it is the monkey business piano interlude at the end of the song. I guess I never really realized it was there, it’s as if they are making amends with the listener for having had to endure Fergie singing about her humps in the first place. I guess I can appreciate that, thank you Will.I.Am, thank you.

Here is my current playlist for your reading pleasure:

40 Deep (feat. Tedashii & Trip Lee)

Under The Bridge 4:24 Red Hot Chili Peppers

Under Pressure 3:57 Queen Classic Queen

Thriller 5:57 Michael Jackson Thriller

Spazz (Prod by Charlie Heat Sarah J) (DatPiff Exclusive) 3:24 Lecrae Church Clothes

Robot 3:34 Trip Lee The Good Life

Pump Up the Volume (USA 12″ Mix) 6:47 Colourbox Best of Colourbox

Paul Revere 3:41 Beastie Boys Licensed to Ill

Oye Como Va 4:18 Santana The Best of Carlos Santana

Over My Head (Cable Car) 3:55 The Fray

No Sleep Till Brooklyn 4:07 Beastie Boys Licensed to Ill

My Humps 5:27 Black Eyed Peas Monkey Business

Make It Bun Dem 3:34 Skrillex & Damian

Lose Yourself 5:20 Eminem 8 Mile

Lose Control (Featuring Ciara & Fat Man Scoop) 3:47Missy Elliot featuring Ciara & Fat Man Scoop

Get Ur Freak On 3:57 Missy Elliott Miss E…So Addictive

Feel Good Inc. 3:41 Gorillaz Demon Days

Church Clothes (Prod by Wit) (DatPiff Exclusive) 2:24 Lecrae Church Clothes

Brain Damage 3:46 Pink Floyd A Foot In the Door – The Best of Pink Floyd

Bohemian Rhapsody 5:58 Queen

Best of You 4:16 Foo Fighters In Your Honor

APB ft Thi’sl (Prod by Charlie Heat Sarah J) (DatPiff Exclusive) 3:32 Lecrae Church Clothes

Another Brick In the Wall, Pt. 2 3:49 Pink Floyd A Foot In the Door – The Best of Pink Floyd

I am seriously considering removing Thriller, it hasn’t really done anything for me on my runs, as well as Feel Good Inc. I have a feeling I am going to be changing this list up a lot. I get bored so easy. Right now though, my favs are bold.

I had a funny thought the other day. What If my thirty-eighth year I practice triathlon sprints, then my thirty-ninth year I do an Olympic triathlon, and as the ultimate way to ring in forty, I try the Iron Man.

Bahahaahahahaaaahaahhaa!

I leave you with that and the fact that as I was doing my sixth week of the couch to 5k today, I remembered that thought, and left it in a ditch somewhere. Oh yeah, and I weighed in at 217 this weekend. Goodnight.

Saint Paul

Wow, tonight was a hard ride. Made it to the downtown airport in mid pack and by the ride home I was at the back, thank God for a nice little man named Paul that wouldn’t drop me. I’m sure he was at least sixty. At one point, I was climbing what one guy referred to as, a short but steep little bastard,  Paul could tell I was struggling, he stayed right by me and said, “It only gets better from here, you have the best year of your life ahead of you,” in a hushed tone. I couldn’t believe my ears, I didn’t even know this guy and he was speaking life into me as I climbed that very nasty hill. I wanted to cry, I wanted to get off the bike, I wanted to stop, but then Paul told me exactly what I have thought in my heart for the past few months. I have the best year of my life ahead of me…keep pushing. 

I wanted to ask him to repeat what he just said, I wanted to make sure he said it, I could barely make out his words. It’s funny because he didn’t talk much, but when he did he made it count.

I made it, it was hot, I was miserable and I had a vibe for how the ride was going to go before I left. This was the first time I wasn’t super pumped to go. I am glad I did, I am glad I continued and didn’t call my husband to come and fetch me from the side of the road somewhere in downtown KC. I told Paul at the end of the ride, I know that if I just keep on doing this it will get a little easier every time. He said that was a true statement. And here’s the best part, I didn’t puke tonight.

I am officially starting a 30 Day Challenge! If you want to join me in this quest and want to try a month of Shakeology to supplement your nutrition please contact me! I want to do this with a group of people and see what we can do when we join forces, get accountable, and encourage each other. Near or far LETS DO THIS! Click here to read all about Shakeology!

It’s not the magic pill, shaking that is. But it is a healthy way to help curb cravings and get the needed vitamins, minerals, and essential amino acids your body needs and deserves, and it’s all natural, let me say that again, all natural. No artificial anything. That’s what I love.

Here is the magic pill, I am about to tell you what has worked for me over the past 3.5 months. I got motivated, encouraged, accountable, and stopped feeling sorry for myself. I watched you tube after you tube videos about people losing weight. I got out of my way and decided it was time and I was worth it. And by the grace of God I will continue to walk, run, and bike this journey, because I know I can.

Tom Dooley and the Obesity gods

Guess what I did yesterday? I weighed in on the hospital scale, and can you guess what it said? 222 pounds. That’s still three pounds higher than a few weeks ago. Ah, bummer, right? Poor me, I should go weigh on another medical scale because this one, it’s wrong.

Cut to me sneaking into an alcove of the emergency room that holds the most often used scale, slip off my scrub coat, my badge, my stethoscope, my shoes, try not to look conspicuous and pray like crazy an ambulance doesn’t arrive and someone comes to get the scale.

222…f..u..d..g..e.

I wan’t some, NOW!

Really? Last week I rode forty-two miles on my bike and  ran 6 miles. I cursed. Oh yes I did girl, yes I did! For the past two weeks I have been lax at work, eating what I wanted but trying to portion things out. I was giving myself a little… breaksy. I had hoped against hope that someone, anyone would bring in doughnuts…no one did. I have passed up the doughnuts for three months and dadblastit I was going to have some. No one brought anything unhealthy.

This weekend I was serious again. No cheating, just good old-fashioned healthy vittles! I had packed my lunch with tomato bisque, salad, peppers, chicken sausage, oatmeal with almonds for breakfast, shakes ready to go for supper and then promptly left it at home.

Then 222 hit me. All that exercise. 222.

Again, cue me, head hanging like Tom Dooley, feeling sorry for myself, I round the corner and like the gods of obesity were in command I see SEVEN $#$@% BAGS OF DOUGHNUTS sitting on the trough.  That’s what we call the place people put food to share with the entire ER. Here’s the best part, the doc that brought em’…sitting in a chair eating her perfectly portioned bag of almonds. Bitch.

Sorry.

Well, I lifted up my head and walked straight by those little nuggets of evil sent by the obesity gods, I stopped feeling sorry for myself and had the best weekend of eating yet! 

 Or…I walked over to those doughnuts and scooby-doo’d more than I care to share on the very public blog. I then went on to continue the self loathing for lunch by having a mystery meat cheesy grilled sandwich, chips, and later ate some of the best little fruit tart cookies off the trough again. Three or four I can’t remember, but at this point, none of it really  matters. I came home and had pizza and salad and ate a pop-tart later when no one was looking.

Shaking head back and forth. Not a good day in the old play book Ro.

About today, what did I do about today? I shook it off, I bounced around in my corner, I pulled out all the no excuses language, I got mad at the obesity gods, I refused to die today. Today I ate:

  1. Two hard-boiled eggs
  2. Spring mix salad, avocado, chicken sausage
  3. I had FOUR tortilla chips from the trough with guacamole I made for one of our docs who is leaving.
  4. Chocolate Shakeology shake before meeting my family at Hunan Garden for Father’s Day dinner.
  5. Three pieces of honey chicken, small serving combo fried rice, one crab rangoon.
And a side of peace and restored self-respect tonight. Feeling sorry for oneself is a dangerous cancer. If I hadn’t been so consumed with silly little numbers I would have been able to keep perspective. Like, it’s a very bad time of the month, for me to weigh, I was still fully clothed and had a huge cup of coffee, and numbers are just numbers. I can’t let them control me that much. I am in this to win this. I cannot allow myself to jump ship because the scale doesn’t move.
Tomorrow I ride and I really can’t wait.
I need some extra accountability and I might try to start a Shakeology 30 Day Challenge and see if anyone wants to join me. I am still proud of how far I’ve come and how far I WILL go. I believe in me. 
Have a blessed night.


I am Stuck on Band-Aids…

Good morning! Today I will find my mojo, it’s amazing how a little getaway and slacking on nutrition can set you back. I didn’t gain a bunch of weight but I haven’t lost any more. After my bike accident last Wednesday night I was disheartened. I had planned to ride about sixteen miles and only made it about ten and a half, I had to call hubs because my knee was numb and I was bleeding a lot. It didn’t really start hurting until about thirty minutes later, and then it was incredibly painful. I am not sure if you can tell from the picture but the most damage was right below my knee, really gouged out, and cleaning the dirt and gravel out of it was…exciting in a very macabre way. I must admit I am actually kinda proud of it. Not the injury itself, per say, but that I didn’t let it stop me. I ran on it the next day, and today I will ride my bike again, assuming it still works, the bike not my knee. I haven’t really inventoried the damage so I might be sorely disappointed tonight, pun intended.

Tonight is my first ride with a group. I am meeting up with a group at The Wheel Cyclery in Gladstone to ride an 18-22 mile relaxed ride to the downtown airport. I have purchased a new Specialized Road bike, it will be ready sometime later this week. They had to order it for me, check it out——————>

It’s a Dolce Sport compact. I am really excited about it. We ordered it from Epic Bike and Sport in Kansas City, Mo. The guys there are awesome and very helpful, glad I talked to my friend Mendy from Fit by Burn for recommendations. Speaking of Mendy Shriver, she opened her new studio for Fit by Burn in Liberty recently, they had an open house on Saturday. You should check out her link if you live near Liberty, if anyone can light a candle under yo a$$, it’s her.

As for my ride tonight, I am pretty nervous. Here’s why:

  1. My bike and the hope that it works.
  2. My knee.
  3. Being a total Newb.
  4. If you happen to be a newb, don’t read this—> How To Dress PRO

Reading that article was somewhat daunting. I cannot compare myself to these people who are avid and experienced. I can’t for the life of me figure out why I do that to myself. I think lots of people do that to themselves, ok maybe not my husband, I can actually hear him lecturing me now about comparing myself to these pro’s. Stephan, if you are reading this, consider it done. I have the lecture on my hard drive. Thanks. 

I guess that’s what the day has in store for me. I will leave you with some great uplifting music to work out to. If you like Rap but are not into bi#c%e$, hoe’s, money, and drugs, Lecrae fits the bill. He has a brand new mix tape out, called Church Clothes that’s pretty good. Down load it here, FREE. Have a Blessed Day!

Food Toxicity

The morning is calling me. Every day I get up earlier and earlier to exercise and watch the sunrise. After being locked in my basement for two plus months with Shaun T and Insanity, working out in nature feels like…heaven. It’s one amazing high for me.

I started the couch to 5k Monday, it’s hard for me to go at that pace after Insanity, I feel like I could push myself more, but I’m choosing to trust the process and let my body adapt which is a big step for me. On my off days I am riding my bicycle, yesterday I rode fourteen miles in the country, it was amazing. I never realized how much I love being outdoors in nature.

I’ve blogged in the past about the voice in my head, the negative, pessimistic, self-defeating voice that I’ve worked hard to overcome. I reaffirm myself each time a negative thought or cynical attitude creeps in, I read positive literature, I search for others success stories, I work at changing that voice. The other day while riding my bike up a hill and pushing myself as hard as I could I heard another voice, had a new thought, however you describe it here is what it said, Don’t ever stop, keep going, you can do this. I knew it wasn’t just about that hill, it was about everything, this journey, this life, this pursuit of health and peace.

I have also posted before about having difficulty accepting the loss of foods major role in my life, the comforter. Being unable to run to the nearest baked good  has admittedly been anxiety provoking, but I can say with one hundred percent certainty that its pull is lessening in my life. I can imagine a happy, peaceful existence without living for the next bite. I’ve made it almost ten weeks this way and honestly, life feels clearer, more in focus than it ever has before. I am not on a diet, I loathe the word.

This goal for me has been three-fold, physical, spiritual, and scientific.

  1. Physical because I need to move, I need to sweat to get myself feeling again. I’ve numbed up so much that the exercise is life-giving at this point, let alone  the health benefits. I aim for an 80/20 eating style. Eighty percent of the time chose healthy foods to keep the body functioning. Healthy foods like greek yogurt, protein from organic meats and dairy, vegetables, and fruit. I try to drink shakeology for one meal because it is so good for me. I ingest less carbohydrates in the latter part of the day and try to go to bed wanting a little something, very difficult for someone who put the kids to bed and had ice cream every night, as a rule. I am still working on making breakfast the bigger meal and decreasing as I go.
  2. Spiritual because one does not get to being one hundred pounds overweight without acknowledging there is something deeper at going on. I did not get there by simply making a few bad food choices, I got there because of self-abuse, self-loathing, and food dependance. I had a severe case of food toxicity. I write to explore theses issues, I see a therapist to help me process anxiety and find it’s root, I pray to seek guidance on the journey and I reaffirm myself for encouragement. Surrounding yourself with positive people doesn’t hurt either. I believe that to lose weight and battle food toxicity, one must look deeper while seeking betterment. Without that process, the weight will most certainly come back, something I simply can’t allow to happen.
  3. The Scientific really goes along with physical but it’s part of the equation I am choosing to separate. Simple science makes it easy to shed pounds, if you work the process. And one cannot work the process unless there is determination, drive, and courage. Much of this in my life comes from number two. The process, calories in vs calories burned, glycemic index and blood sugar levels, hunger and fullness. The basic principal of hunger and fullness alone are enough to shed some weight. But finding the place where your body is hungry and cessation of eating with satiety are quite the extreme art for someone who has used food as a drug for most of their lives. Anyone can maintain a healthy weight by simply eating by the bodies cues of hunger and fullness, no matter how healthy the food is. Which is why you have people like my sister in law who will be a size three into her old age because she only eats by this rule, and she eats whatever she wants. Not a reason to stop choosing healthier options, just an observation. I will point out though that you can find her snaking on healthy foods as often as you see her having a cookie, because she lets her body be her guide and enjoys all foods.

I’ve had so many thoughts I’ve wanted to share but this has been an extremely busy week and I didn’t get to update as much as I wanted. I am going to have to update a bit more from my phone. My husband and I are leaving for Atlanta on Thursday morning for my best friends wedding, *goal box numero uno to the right. So where am I at on the goal you you ask? This morning I am two hundred twenty two pounds. Two pounds from the goal. We will be eating eat as soon as we get there and the celebration continues until Sunday morning at a Mother’s Day Brunch at the hotel we will be staying at, needless to say, continued loss may be difficult. I am determined to make the goal though, so we will see.

I’ll leave you with a bit of encouragement from a former paratrooper in the gulf war. Thanks for all of you who read this, and feel free to comment. Godspeed.

CLICK HERE FOR REDICUlLOUS INSPIRATION—-> Never, Ever Give Up. 

Twentyfour down and six to go…

6 lb. from my goal. I’m running after this like Flo Jo…ok well maybe not that fast but I’m working hard. I have exactly eleven days to get there. Two of those days I will actually be in Atlanta hanging out and dining out so I should really shoot for next Thursday morning which will be a stretch.

I am watching my carbs big time after lunch and having nothing to eat after dinner. Once I hit this first goal I will relax a little and get back into a normal groove.

I decided to bail on Insanity. Ok, that’s not completely true. I did the full two months with Shaun T and had some left over workouts from days that I worked. It’s complicated how my mind works but here goes. The program is 6 days a week, but I work twelve-hour shifts every Saturday and Sunday so I don’t work out those days. So I told myself I was going to do every single day and not skip. Which would have made the program about a week and a half longer. So being that I started it Feb 28 and that my body is hurting like a mutha I decided to opt for a lower impact exercise for a while.

Today I rode twelve miles on my bike. I still hurt. Lots of hills. Great music. Wonderful six am ride. LOVE.

Check out the incredible Carne Asada salad I made tonight.

  • Field Greens
  • Spinach
  • Green Onion
  • Shredded Carrots
  • Cilantro
  • Red, Green, and Yellow Peppers
  • Avocado
  • Seasoned steak meat
  • Fat Free Lime Basil Vinaigrette
  • A serving of Chili Lime Tortilla Strips

A grand total of 353 Calories. Have a blessed night. And remember to treat yourself to that extra helping of grace, instead of the snacks. We ladies deserve to say pass on the crap, because we’ve self-abused long enough.

Image

Excuse me ma’am, there are ruffles in your hair.

So Friday was a great day. I had an awesome time on the unexpected date day with hubs. We went out for lunch and then he took me home so I could nap while he went to the store. Seriously, dream date. Especially because I ate really good at Olive Garden, I mean I threw down. Grubbed. Salad, two and a half bread sticks, a bowel of zuppa toscana, and the shrimp appetizer. Oh, and the alfredo dipping sauce for the bread. I worked out that morning and vowed to eat better that  night. Well sadly, that didn’t happen. We ended up at Price Chopper and the kids wanted fried chicken and mashed potatoes for couch supper and movie night, and yours truly was obliged to partake in the festivites. I didn’t eat an entire breast, but I added some other not so good for me foods, that you’ll only be privy to if your my fitness pal fren.

Saturday morning I decided that punishment was in the air, I drank Shakeology for each meal, save the time I walked into the break room ravenous and someone had left an open huge bag of Ruffles and ranch dip there for anyone to eat. Three minutes later my charge nurse had to call for restraints. It wasn’t that bad but I mentally heard healthy me say, “STEP AWAY FROM THE CHIPS!” So I did, but I counted two servings in my fitness pal for good measure. Overall, it was a good day, I was under my calorie goal and woke up nice and hungry with no regrets, I love waking up that way.

Now, let’s talk about Insanity. I have two weeks left, two weeks before the wedding, two weeks before my goal. I’m going to push it. I have about eight pounds to lose, I don’t care if I don’t get to goal as long as I am full steam ahead in trying. I am still a little worried about it, I still hurt in my left hip flexor and down my left leg. I think it might be my sciatic nerve so I may schedule a massage this week and maybe even a chiropractor appointment or two. I have to make this first goal, or at least get very close.

I got off work a few minutes early last night, so on my way home I decided to go on a mini driving iphone shoot. It was fun. It’s amazing how much art you find in everyday life if you just open your eyes and look for it. Here are a few of my shots.

Magnetized by the Mic While I Kick my Juice …

Good morning. It’s a windy cool day here in Kansas City, Missouri and if you’ve had your air on the past few days you might want to switch back to the furnace…again. Weirdest. Weather. Ever.

There was a field trip for my sons kindergarten class that was cancelled due to the threat of bad weather, my husband opted out of a planned camping trip tonight for the same reason. I love a day that opens up but I have a hard time with unplanned events. I had plans for the day and now I do not. I have nothing extraordinary to share, so my words will be like useless chatter filling up space unless I can pull something out of my head in three, two, one…ok, juicing.

Last night my son asked me repeatedly, “Mom, can we make some juice?” My grandmother gave me her juicer to try out for a while before I buy one and it’s been sitting in the kitchen. What kind of person takes a juicer from an old woman, you ask? Well, that would be me, and besides, you don’t know my grandmother, she’s a pushy ol’ gal who gets her mind-set on something and doesn’t take no for an answer. And she never uses it, ever, ok once. It’s a dandy if I do say so myself, the Omega brand, very nice. I finally relented and told my son we could make juice on one condition, we make a green juice. He agreed, so we set to work.

I am actually glad he asked because I had a bag of fruit that desperately needed  using and the juice came out quite splendid. Here is what we added:

  • Grapes
  • Oranges
  • Lemons
  • Apples
  • Spinach, and lots of it.

The juice turned out really tasty, better than the last time I made a green that included kale and cucumber. I don’t know what’s up with that Kale I got but, Hello RANK. Yeah, to drink it was an exercise in lunacy. The juice was to drinking as dog feces is to scentsy. Ok, that was just uncalled for but really, I am not exaggerating. If anyone has ever used Kale please tell me what the secret is. I added green apple, orange, lemon, and ginger and still, it was a no go. Last night was a much different story, we all loved it and will be making it again. Now if I can get a shot of wheatgrass in there without them knowing that would just be a bonus. Here are a few pics.