Finding Moderation

Before I, “enter title here,” I always write first. When I am done writing, then I will know what to entitle the post. As for any direction this is headed, I have no idea, I am just writing to write at this point so I’ll start with my dietary intake for this, the thirteenth day of March, two-thousand eleven.

I woke up and had two pieces of peanut butter toast and coffee with hazelnut cream, oh yeah, this, was the highlight of my nutritional day. I  had cottage cheese and cantaloup with some cheddar cheese and ham on whole wheat crackers at a meeting this afternoon. Got busy and didn’t get supper, so now I am drinking a shake. It’s too late to be drinking a shake, it’s a nutritional, protein shake but man, it’s too late. I have a weigh in tomorrow and frankly, I like to have my food done by 6 pm before a weigh in. Oh well. I have to, have to, have to get in a minimum number of calories. The shake puts me at 1200, which is too low, and I know it. The experts keep saying if you don’t get enough calories you will put your body into starvation mode. Lol, I only buy this for awhile, because sooner or later your body will adapt. But, I accept it as truth and have been really trying to stay right about 1600 calories. Again for me, it’s either 1,000 or 3,000. Remember the intensity vs hardcore complacency theme.

So tomorrow is a weigh in day. I lost 5 lb. my first week and I’m not sure what to expect tomorrow. I’ve been working out, eating right, or eating better, and if  I get a really low number, I am afraid I will be disappointed and turn to food for comfort. That’s usually how my playbook reads. But, I am editing the book so all bets are off. I am doing good things for me, and even a 1 lb. loss will be good for me. Here is where the rubber hits the road. I can’t turn to food for comfort, food has stolen the best part of me. I press on, no matter what the number says. Tonight, the number in my heart says I have tried hard, it says I am worth these changes, it says slow and steady wins the race. And, when I have crossed the finish line I will continue to believe that the lifestyle I have adopted is worth continuing. I want to do this, if for no other reason than to role model good choices to my kids, for the way it feels at the checkout lane when my cart is full of fresh and healthy foods and I’m salivating over the way I am going to prepare that asparagus, and roast that whole chicken. This is a good thing. It’s not so big that it will take over my life, but big enough to change it. I will focus on my blessings, my family, and my God.

Finding Moderation. That’s it. That’s the title. I want to find moderation and examine the part of me that resists it. I will pry open that ugly place and fill it with asparagus, but only one succulent serving at a time.