Win The Game

We have struggles. That’s a pretty open idea for a blog post. I feel like discussing this with myself and I will share my inner dialogue with you…

We all have struggles. Some people have life altering problems, some have day-to-day struggles that are more like a pebble in their shoe, the formers problems are probably more like not having shoes. The older I get the more I get this idea that life is about pain. What a bitter-heart inducing realism, life equals pain. While I hold this thought true I also know that life is about love, to live is to love, to love is to hurt, to hurt is to love, etcetera, etcetera. Problem solved, when we accept this, all things fade and as we grab  hold of Gods giant hand we are raised like a Chinese monster villain walking through NYC. We are elevated, still feeling the heat, the problems, but looking at them from another view.

It’s the moments that make the difference. Those moments of crushing pain, the moments of blistering from the constant rubbing of the pebble in your shoe, the moments where choices are made. We’ve all seen the slogans, the status’, the pins, encouraging us to deal with these moments in grace and maturity, but actually acting in a way that is so counter to what our flesh wants to do is nothing short of excruciating sometimes.

She found true love, after fifty, now he’s dying of cancer.

She married her true love, had a few kids, and finds he’s cheated on her after several years of  “marital bliss.”

She has nowhere to call her own, a new baby and no plans for the future.

No one really knows her struggles with food, she eats several bags of Easter candy and finds herself hugging the toilet…again. She just can’t stop herself.

Everyday his wife makes him feel like child, she doesn’t respect him, just breaks him down.

He loves Jesus, but finds himself sexually attracted to men and the shame he feels inside is killing him, he has no one to talk to.

Pain.

Yesterday I was reading about this Ware dude, a basketball player, yes? I don’t follow sports, but his story was pretty incredible. Compound fracture, lying on the court, so many people watching him. All he does is lay there and yell, “WIN THE GAME.”

I read this article and I was encouraged. I felt like that is us, when we are immobilized by life, by the pain, by the hurt, the circumstances, we are lying on the court of life, the games is going to go on and we’re wounded. If we’re quit and still, if we stop and close our eyes, if we wait in the moment I think we can hear Him calling, deep within our spirit chanting…win the game, win the game. First in a soft hushed tone, almost a whisper, and then as we listen intenser still, louder it grows…WIN THE GAME.

Not to say life is a game…but there is definitely a strategy to it. These problems will get the best of us if we let them, this pain will wound us deep enough to kill us if we don’t listen to that voice and wait in the moment. I don’t know what that means for my examples, for me, that means I thank God for my problems, because if I let God use them, He will make me whole and strong. For me, this means I won’t always get an answer, but if I get up and hobble back into the game and keep fighting, there’s no limit to what God can do.

Do or Die

Hello world. Isn’t that the first post of every blog. Well it seems like forever since I’ve posted so hello again.

Let’s get down to brass tacks…the nitty gritty…the low down dirdee heart of the matter. I haven’t lost any weight in probably three weeks. There’s that. I also haven’t gained, not really. I weigh about three pounds more that my lowest weight but it’s nothing of significance. Could be water or maybe I did gain a few pounds back but what matters to me is that I haven’t binged. I haven’t followed a superb diet plan, in fact I’ve eaten some junk. But the junks been interspersed with good old fashioned healthy and I chose small and leave food behind.

I have a second goal to meet by mid August. I need to get busy and serious, it’s just that I’ve been in this lingering funk and it’s do or die time for me. I’m thirty-eight years old and so thankful for this life, this opportunity to grow and make choices and live and love. It’s the pain I didn’t count on, the pain of life that can immobilize me and send me spiraling. It hasn’t yet, but I feel it’s presence looming over me and quiet whisper in my heart to do…or die.

It’s during this time when I am so weak that it’s most important for me to love myself, to work hard, to focus. I have an adult child that is taking a very different path than I dreamt for her. My faith is weak. I must let her go, give up control, not judge and pray without ceasing. In the end, life is life and she will go the way she chooses but I will always pray. She texted me for the first time in almost two months yesterday. I will take the little blessings and hold them tight.

I’m riding tonight. Hoping I won’t be in the back of the pack the entire time again but if I am so be it. At least I’m riding. Looking forward to getting back in the groove this week. Summer feels like its in full swing and the kids are keeping me busy.

Have a great day.