Tom Dooley and the Obesity gods

Guess what I did yesterday? I weighed in on the hospital scale, and can you guess what it said? 222 pounds. That’s still three pounds higher than a few weeks ago. Ah, bummer, right? Poor me, I should go weigh on another medical scale because this one, it’s wrong.

Cut to me sneaking into an alcove of the emergency room that holds the most often used scale, slip off my scrub coat, my badge, my stethoscope, my shoes, try not to look conspicuous and pray like crazy an ambulance doesn’t arrive and someone comes to get the scale.

222…f..u..d..g..e.

I wan’t some, NOW!

Really? Last week I rode forty-two miles on my bike and  ran 6 miles. I cursed. Oh yes I did girl, yes I did! For the past two weeks I have been lax at work, eating what I wanted but trying to portion things out. I was giving myself a little… breaksy. I had hoped against hope that someone, anyone would bring in doughnuts…no one did. I have passed up the doughnuts for three months and dadblastit I was going to have some. No one brought anything unhealthy.

This weekend I was serious again. No cheating, just good old-fashioned healthy vittles! I had packed my lunch with tomato bisque, salad, peppers, chicken sausage, oatmeal with almonds for breakfast, shakes ready to go for supper and then promptly left it at home.

Then 222 hit me. All that exercise. 222.

Again, cue me, head hanging like Tom Dooley, feeling sorry for myself, I round the corner and like the gods of obesity were in command I see SEVEN $#$@% BAGS OF DOUGHNUTS sitting on the trough.  That’s what we call the place people put food to share with the entire ER. Here’s the best part, the doc that brought em’…sitting in a chair eating her perfectly portioned bag of almonds. Bitch.

Sorry.

Well, I lifted up my head and walked straight by those little nuggets of evil sent by the obesity gods, I stopped feeling sorry for myself and had the best weekend of eating yet! 

 Or…I walked over to those doughnuts and scooby-doo’d more than I care to share on the very public blog. I then went on to continue the self loathing for lunch by having a mystery meat cheesy grilled sandwich, chips, and later ate some of the best little fruit tart cookies off the trough again. Three or four I can’t remember, but at this point, none of it really  matters. I came home and had pizza and salad and ate a pop-tart later when no one was looking.

Shaking head back and forth. Not a good day in the old play book Ro.

About today, what did I do about today? I shook it off, I bounced around in my corner, I pulled out all the no excuses language, I got mad at the obesity gods, I refused to die today. Today I ate:

  1. Two hard-boiled eggs
  2. Spring mix salad, avocado, chicken sausage
  3. I had FOUR tortilla chips from the trough with guacamole I made for one of our docs who is leaving.
  4. Chocolate Shakeology shake before meeting my family at Hunan Garden for Father’s Day dinner.
  5. Three pieces of honey chicken, small serving combo fried rice, one crab rangoon.
And a side of peace and restored self-respect tonight. Feeling sorry for oneself is a dangerous cancer. If I hadn’t been so consumed with silly little numbers I would have been able to keep perspective. Like, it’s a very bad time of the month, for me to weigh, I was still fully clothed and had a huge cup of coffee, and numbers are just numbers. I can’t let them control me that much. I am in this to win this. I cannot allow myself to jump ship because the scale doesn’t move.
Tomorrow I ride and I really can’t wait.
I need some extra accountability and I might try to start a Shakeology 30 Day Challenge and see if anyone wants to join me. I am still proud of how far I’ve come and how far I WILL go. I believe in me. 
Have a blessed night.


Twentyfour down and six to go…

6 lb. from my goal. I’m running after this like Flo Jo…ok well maybe not that fast but I’m working hard. I have exactly eleven days to get there. Two of those days I will actually be in Atlanta hanging out and dining out so I should really shoot for next Thursday morning which will be a stretch.

I am watching my carbs big time after lunch and having nothing to eat after dinner. Once I hit this first goal I will relax a little and get back into a normal groove.

I decided to bail on Insanity. Ok, that’s not completely true. I did the full two months with Shaun T and had some left over workouts from days that I worked. It’s complicated how my mind works but here goes. The program is 6 days a week, but I work twelve-hour shifts every Saturday and Sunday so I don’t work out those days. So I told myself I was going to do every single day and not skip. Which would have made the program about a week and a half longer. So being that I started it Feb 28 and that my body is hurting like a mutha I decided to opt for a lower impact exercise for a while.

Today I rode twelve miles on my bike. I still hurt. Lots of hills. Great music. Wonderful six am ride. LOVE.

Check out the incredible Carne Asada salad I made tonight.

  • Field Greens
  • Spinach
  • Green Onion
  • Shredded Carrots
  • Cilantro
  • Red, Green, and Yellow Peppers
  • Avocado
  • Seasoned steak meat
  • Fat Free Lime Basil Vinaigrette
  • A serving of Chili Lime Tortilla Strips

A grand total of 353 Calories. Have a blessed night. And remember to treat yourself to that extra helping of grace, instead of the snacks. We ladies deserve to say pass on the crap, because we’ve self-abused long enough.

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Excuse me ma’am, there are ruffles in your hair.

So Friday was a great day. I had an awesome time on the unexpected date day with hubs. We went out for lunch and then he took me home so I could nap while he went to the store. Seriously, dream date. Especially because I ate really good at Olive Garden, I mean I threw down. Grubbed. Salad, two and a half bread sticks, a bowel of zuppa toscana, and the shrimp appetizer. Oh, and the alfredo dipping sauce for the bread. I worked out that morning and vowed to eat better that  night. Well sadly, that didn’t happen. We ended up at Price Chopper and the kids wanted fried chicken and mashed potatoes for couch supper and movie night, and yours truly was obliged to partake in the festivites. I didn’t eat an entire breast, but I added some other not so good for me foods, that you’ll only be privy to if your my fitness pal fren.

Saturday morning I decided that punishment was in the air, I drank Shakeology for each meal, save the time I walked into the break room ravenous and someone had left an open huge bag of Ruffles and ranch dip there for anyone to eat. Three minutes later my charge nurse had to call for restraints. It wasn’t that bad but I mentally heard healthy me say, “STEP AWAY FROM THE CHIPS!” So I did, but I counted two servings in my fitness pal for good measure. Overall, it was a good day, I was under my calorie goal and woke up nice and hungry with no regrets, I love waking up that way.

Now, let’s talk about Insanity. I have two weeks left, two weeks before the wedding, two weeks before my goal. I’m going to push it. I have about eight pounds to lose, I don’t care if I don’t get to goal as long as I am full steam ahead in trying. I am still a little worried about it, I still hurt in my left hip flexor and down my left leg. I think it might be my sciatic nerve so I may schedule a massage this week and maybe even a chiropractor appointment or two. I have to make this first goal, or at least get very close.

I got off work a few minutes early last night, so on my way home I decided to go on a mini driving iphone shoot. It was fun. It’s amazing how much art you find in everyday life if you just open your eyes and look for it. Here are a few of my shots.